Improve your man's moves...
Improve your man's moves...
Sex and Relationships - How to spice up your love life!
Learn how to let him know exactly what you want without bruising his ego or dampening his libido...
TIP #1
Employ behaviour-modification techniques
If he's doing it wrong and won't respond to unspoken directives, take a tip from dog trainers, who know all about reinforcing good behaviour and punishing bad. Respond positively only when he does something that feels good and give consistent signals (pull away, reposition yourself, go silent) whenever he tries a move you don't enjoy.
TIP #2
Teach by example
Show him how you like to masturbate by placing his hand over yours so he can feel and see what you're doing. Alternatively, while he's manually stimulating you, put your hand atop his hand and guide him. “Guys love this,” says Dr Gabrielle Morrissey, author of Urge. “When he learns a technique by feeling, as opposed to being told, he's more likely to remember it.”
TIP #3
Take tips from the sexperts
Find an erotic video with foreplay you find horny and watch it with him. When someone on screen does something you'd like him to try, say: “I bet that'd feel amazing.” It's also an idea to leave magazine articles containing smart sex tips lying around (with key bits circled!).
TIP #4
Give him some instruction
Ask him to help you act out a fantasy that has a teacher/pupil or mistress/slave component. As the dominant party, you can tell him to do all the things you want but he rarely gives you – and make him repeat them till he gets it right. Once he sees how aroused you become, he may well decide to incorporate these new techniques into his standard bedroom repertoire.
TIP #5
Teach him about ambience
Set a mood using sexy music, soft lighting, aromatherapy oils, sensuous fabrics and the like. Offer him a massage as it will help you both to feel more sensual (and he might reciprocate). Once he realises that simply altering the environment can put you in the mood for sex, he'll be motivated to create similar surroundings next time he wants to get you into bed.
TIP #6
Talk dirty... and pile on the praise
“I'm a fan of dirty talk and research suggests that most men are too,” says Dr Morrissey. “Men love specific feedback, but blunt criticism hurts their feelings and they may never do X or Y again.”
Instead, she advises, “Be sexy but be specific – that way, you're more likely to get what you want.” You can be romantically explicit or just plain filthy, whatever you're more comfortable with, “but do say 'desiring' things,” reminds Dr Morrissey, “because men love having their sexual egos stroked.”
For example, “You look so sexy when you're going down on me” will yield better results than a muted moan; and “I love it when you lick me slowly” is better than “slower”.
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